ARTICLES

He Gave me Flowers....Today

FloweresWe had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.

Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry cause he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today, and it wasn't mother's day or any other special day.

Last night, he beat me up again, it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral!

Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.......

- On an average more than 3 women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends each day in this country.

~ Pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide more than any other and a significant portion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners

~ One in every four Women will experience Domestic Violence in a Lifetime.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

“Domestic violence is one of the worst kept secrets in America. We must break the silence and expose this epidemic to limit the casualties and let the aggressor know that they will be stopped. Cowards take advantage of individuals that are weak and afraid. Only YOU have the power to leave fear and embrace your destiny. I am a living testimony of what is POSSIBLE Valorie N. Parker.

Domestic Violence and The Silent Church

When one consider that in the U.S.A., that every 12 seconds a female is battered in a domestic violence situation and that every 6 hours a female dies at the hands of their perpetrator; then we realize that Domestic Violence is an epidemic in our society and literally destroys the lives of children, families and ultimately our communities. Though domestic violence has reached epidemic proportions, affecting 3 to 4 million women per year and millions of children and countless thousands of other victims; there hasn’t been a sufficient response from the church or the faith communities at large. Traditionally these communities are the ones that have responded to the homeless, the needy, the hurting, the incarcerated, and the cast a ways, but strangely they have been silent and missing for the most part when it comes to preventing as well as responding to domestic violence situations.

Faith Communities must be equipped and Empowered in how to address this critical epidemic of domestic violence that oftentimes exists in their congregations, assemblies, Houses of worship and communities. In times of crisis research shows that people turn to the Faith Communities more so than any other entity within their communities.

J.R. Thicklin addresses the “Silent Church” in a very candid and powerful delivery in a language that the Faith Community can identify. He gives both a spiritual and social perspective of the subject matter. Thicklin has been on the front lines in addressing domestic violence for nearly 2 decades, having worked in Domestic Violence Centers, making presentations and educating in middle and high schools, colleges and universities, in churches and the social services arena and thousands of seminar and conferences participants. His vast knowledge of the subject matter and his passionate delivery has made him a much sought after speaker, presenter and trainer in both the Faith and Secular Communities. J.R. Thicklin is the CEO and President of Destiny By Choice, Inc. where he is empowering lives and shaping destinies through prevention and intervention education about Domestic Violence and other abuse related issues.

What is domestic violence?

Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won’t happen again. But you fear it will. At times you may start to doubt your own judgement, or wonder whether you’re going crazy. You may even feel like you’ve imagined the whole thing. But the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you may be the victim of domestic violence.

Unfortunately, domestic violence against women is common. It happens to teenage girls and women of all backgrounds. Men are also victims of domestic violence as well however, as many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners each year. Domestic violence is abuse by a caregiver, a parent, a spouse or an intimate partner. It can take many forms. Here are some types of abuse:

What can I do if my children or I am abused?

First, make sure you and your children are safe. Go to a safe place, such as the home of a friend or a relative or an emergency shelter. Take your children with you. Call the police if you think you can't leave home safely or if you want to bring charges against your abuser.

If possible, take house keys, money and important papers with you. Do not use drugs or alcohol at this time because you need to be alert in a crisis. The staff members at emergency shelters can help you file for a court order of protection.

* Physical abuse is the use of physical force * Sexual abuse means any forced sexual activity * Emotional abuse includes threats, constant criticism and put-downs. * Controlling access to money and controlling activities are other abusive behaviors.

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE & DEPRESSION

Anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433) or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) -- or the deaf hotline at 800-799-4889.The best way to prevent suicide with clinical depression is to know the risk factors for suicide and to recognize the warning signs of suicide. Take these signs seriously. Know how to respond to them. It could save someone's life.

  • One or more prior suicide attempts
  • Family history of mental disorder or substance abuse
  • Family history of suicide
  • Family violence –Domestic abuse
  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Keeping firearms in the home
  • Incarceration
  • Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others

Are there warning signs of suicide?

Warning signs that someone may be thinking about or planning to commit suicide include:

  • Always talking or thinking about death
  • Clinical depression- deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping & eating
  • Having a "death wish" tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death
  • driving fast or running red lights
  • Losing interest in things one used to care about
  • Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
  • Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
  • Saying things like "it would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out"
  • Sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to very calm or appearing to be happy
  • Talking about suicide or killing one's self
  • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye

Be especially concerned if a person is exhibiting any of these warning signs and has attempted suicide in the past. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, between 20% and 50% of people who commit suicide have had a previous attempt.

Visit: www.WEBMD.com for further information

HEALTH

Our health is the greatest wealth we possess. If we are not functioning properly in our bodies, then we can’t go on to accomplish the things we need to in this lifetime. I found myself working constantly around the clock trying to get the American dream and maintain my finances until I found myself in a hospital room for 5 days tubes running through my body all because I did not take proper care of myself. I wasn’t eating or resting properly and almost died in the process. We must protect and value our health. Valorie N. Parker

The Life Balance Center of New York

Dr. Marcia A. Harris M.D., LHD(hon)

Our health is built on the foundation of our lifestyle- which encompasses our nutrition and diet, our exercise pattern, our supplements and vitamins and our hormonal balance. The key word here is BALANCE. We have to be balanced physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and each aspect has to be addressed both singly and collectively.

Unfortunately our nutrition and diet, which should be the easy part, is highly dependent on our supplements and vitamins. The soil is so depleted that we cannot (CAN NOT!) get what we need nutritionally from our diet alone. Even if we eat a well balanced organic diet with lots of fruits and vegetables it is impossible to eat the amount we need to do so.

So we have to supplement. The question now becomes which supplement do we take (there are 1600 neutraceutical companies out there each one saying their product is best). Fortunately a new test- the Bioscan, simply and noninvasively measures in real time in your body your tissue antioxidant level giving us a very easy biomarker to follow.

Absorption is also key. Most chemical vitamins come out the other end just as they went in (we call them bedpan bullets!) Natural vitamins are much better absorbed and a complete nano produced product is ideal.(such as the Pharmanex Lifepak nano multivitamin, antioxidant product)

When you empower your mind, you will begin to embrace a larger vision of yourself. For less than $1 a day you can learn from some of the top Speakers, Teachers, Trainers & Entertainers in the industry such as: Les Brown, Donald Trump, Zig Zigler, Chuck Norris, Norman Vincent Peale, Steven Pierce, Barry Donelson, Tony Robbins and many more. Knowledge is the new Currency join today for 24hr access